January 04, 2012

Muggles don't get "that orange stuff"

I was recently reminded about "that orange stuff" in one of the support groups I'm involved in and it left me wondering what happened to ours. For those of you Muggles out there who don't know "that orange stuff" (which must not be named), let me tell you it is AMAZING. I can't remember where we got our bottle - maybe it was our NICU ostomy nurse, maybe it was a freebie through our med supplier, maybe we picked it up at the UOAA conference, maybe we got it from another parent ditching their old supplies at a Ronald McDonald House. Who knows. What we magical (medical) parents do know is this stuff is awesome. Why?

First off it is orange. A really nice orangey orange.

Second, it smells fantastic! When you spray it you might as well be peeling back the peel of a fresh, plump orange. I swear it smells like the real thing.

Third, it appears to be somewhat natural with ingredients like natural oils, aloe vera and organic wetting agents. Organic!

Fourth, it works. And by works I mean it takes off EVERYTHING. Colostomy bags stand no chance. Bandaids tremble in its presence. Monitor lead adhesive is history.

And fifth, it works in non-medical situations, too. Like when your kids have put stickers all over the pretty wood floors. A couple of sprays and a few minutes later those stickers peel off in one piece no problem.

Can you tell how excited I was to rediscover this wondrous tool of the wizarding world in the back of our medical cabinet?

There are precious few things to brag about in our world of medical magic. That orange stuff (which must not be named) is something I really do feel sorry the muggles must go without.